It seems like the big Man has a lot on his plate every single day. Between listening to everyone and performing miracles, he also happens to lend his thoughts and encourage some really terrible actions too.

Recently we heard of some funny news where supposedly a man was told by God to rob a car. Thinking how often this excuse is used in time, we decided to brush up a few favorites. I know what you'll be wondering after you read this, when will God tell ME something stupid to do too?

 1. God Told Me To Steal The Car

A man by the name of "Seven" tells police that God told him to steal a Dodge Charger before entering the showroom. The cops knew this was a hoax since everyone knows God would have better taste in cars than a Dodge.

2. God Told Me To Stalk A Celebrity

A Texan man who stalked singer Jewel at her home says that he was just following a higher order from God. The Associated Press says of the stalker:  “He was not aggressive and was not mad… He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch.” 

Didn't think God was a country/folk singer man. Must tell the Gospel churches on Sunday to switch it up a knotch.

3. God Told Me To Sue The Internet

A rather famous "God told me to" comes from former Alaskan governor Sarah Palin, a woman who probably told her 18 year old daughter that God thinks she should have kept that baby, because God also told her that her and baby daddy Levi Johnston will be together forever... until the Teen Choice Awards comes and Kathy Griffin needed a date.

4. Joe The Plumber: God Was Like, No!

God actually did good here, even though an idiot framed it so ridiculously.  When asked if he has plans to run for public office, he replied, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.’”

We're rather content that God was like, No. Because clearly with his encouragement we could have easily had a Joe the plumber as our next political leader.

5. God Told Me to Go To 50 Cent And Write a Letter To Him

Former guitarist of KORN Brian "Head" Welch tells the Examiner how into God he really is and how he plans on making others just as into Jesus as well:

I felt like He told me to go to 50 Cent and write a letter to him, and tell him Jesus wants to save him, too. I was like, “Alright, God!” and I went and found his jeweler. I bought some diamonds off of him and I gave him a note and he was like, “I’m gonna go see 50 in, like, three days.” ‘Cause they’re developing a business. I go, “Give him this note.” It was a long letter saying Jesus wants to save him. [laughs]

6. God Told Me to Eat My Girlfriend

A real-life crime case of gruesome proportions has cannibal Christopher Lee McCuin telling investigators that “God told me to do it” after his girlfriend's body was found murdered and mutilated, with one ear boiling in a pot of water on the stove and a plate of human flesh with a fork on the kitchen table. [Source]

7. God Told Me... She Needed To Be Taken Off The Road

"God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road," says a man who rammed into a woman at 100mph plus. Obviously a psychiatric evaluation was done on the man following his arrest since the woman was not under any influence or forms of intoxication... not sure if she was possessed by the devil though. [Source]

8. God Told Me Carrie Prejean Did Not Deserve To Win!

A man who has frequent talks with God before bashing celebrities on his blog, Perez Hilton says that God told him to ask Carrie Prejean that tough question that cost her more than enough negative fame from it.

"...God does not think I'm evil. God loves me. And I love God. I spoke to God before the Miss USA pageant and he told me himself to ask that question. He also told me that Carrie Prejean did not deserve to win. Really! That's what God said to me..." We're wondering if God habitually tells this gossip blogger other details... since he seemed to be rather spot on with this next God told me statement:

"Oh, and I spoke to God again today. She says that Carrie's title as Miss California should be taken away!"

 9.God Told Malawi: Madonna is Now Your God

 Madonna has been branded as 'God' by the orphans in Malawi.

 I always knew our 'material girl' was blessed an definitely a direct descendant from the almight since the 80s:

And of course, here's probably the most (in)famous God told me to excuse of all time...

10. God Told Me To Invade Iraq

The born-again President "W" basically had this much to say of his decision to enter the war on the Middle East:

'I am driven with a mission from God'. God would tell me, 'George go and fight these terrorists in Afghanistan'. And I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'. And I did."

'And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me, 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'. And, by God, I'm gonna do it.'

Thanks George for carrying out God's wishes. We really owe you a lot for that.

Well I hope you enjoyed this little holy list of actions encouraged by God, or so they say. Just remember now, the next time you hear something from God, we are quite sure he'll understand if you apply your better judgment for it.