1.You start high fiveing people with a "WOO!"

2.You are convinced you can get Mcdonalds to DELIVER. (yes. I've done this.)

3.You sing "I Touch Myself" and start touching yourself- at a karaoke bar.

4.You revert to "baby talk." This often comes out while someone holds your hair. (which is another reason you know you're drunk)

5.You pee on your friends shoe, while peeing in a bush, in your friends lawn.


6.You break out the jump splits!

7.You tell your mother Taco Bell is your, "favoooorrrrite ressssshhhhhstttrrraaaunnnnttt."

8.You flash your boyfriend/husbands friends your coot and say, "TOTAAALLLY BARE!!"

9.You cry in a public bathroom.

10.You NEEEEED pizza, or you just. might. diiiiie.

11.You wake up the next day with someone named Mamound's (?) cell phone number dialed in your phone.

12.Your alter ego "Angelina Jolie in Original Sin" takes over your bedroom

13.You're willing to break and enter into a liquor store to "get more PATRRROOON!!!"

14.The phrase, "I love you maaaann" comes out, several times. To several strangers.

15.You think the table is your stage and YOU are Beyonce at the Grammys.

16.You kick off your heels in the parking lot

17.You're willing to forgo someones BUSTED grill for a good make-out session.

18.You repeatedly tell everyone your timeline of how long you've known everyone, "We've been beshttt friends sincssshhh 2nd grade!!"

19.You give everyone around you a nickname. "Yo! Jdizzzzzzllllleeee!"

20.You're drinking Corona's at home but are out of limes, so go to the bar next door and ask for, "just a wedge or two."


21.You become your own personal pimp, pimping your BEST GIRL-you.

22.You start taking pictures and instead of saying CHEESE you say in unison, "Myspaaaaccce!"

23.At some point in the evening you resort to crawling instead of walking.

24.A friendly game of wrestling turns into, "I'm gonna fuck up your mother brah!"

25.You text someone, "hammrd nakdnes is my midle naaaame." I have RECEIVED (not sent) this text.

26.You attempt stealing large important objects during business hours i.e. pianos, planters, valet signs, kayaks.

27.You get a tattoo of a butterfly/rose/fairy above your va-jay

28.You think you have Olympic athleticism and wanna compete in a race, to the vending machine.

29.You think a Nutrigrain bar will suffice as "bread" to, "soak up the liquuuuorrrr."

30.You tell the Ethiopian cab driver, "I was black in another life. Bro."

31.You openly admit owning every 98 Degrees album.

32.You spend money on shots like you're dipping into Donald Trump's bank account.

33.Your acquaintances are your "new best friend!" and you, "Wanna tell 'em a seecreeeeettt..."
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